So we're hiring people to criticise things. Professionally. For money. Founders build websites, launch them, and then hear nothing but "looks great!!" from their mum. We think someone with actual taste should tell them the truth, and we think that someone is you.
Usually at 2am. Usually with the words "just a quick look". It will not be quick.
Hero, hierarchy, type, colour, copy, flow, the thing they clearly added last on a Friday. All of it.
Screen on, cursor pointing at the crimes. What's wrong, what's right, what's suspicious. "Vibes are off" is a symptom; we need the diagnosis and the prescription, out loud.
You get paid by the hour. They get taste on loan. Everybody's site is slightly less embarrassing. Civilisation advances.
Right now it is a landing page and a form. You are on the ground floor of a form. We're talking to designers before we build the product, because building a critique business without asking critics what they want would be, ironically, a design failure.
Hourly. One site, one hour, one recording. We're still settling the number, so tell us yours in the form and we'll tell you if we flinched. What we can promise: it's paid in money, and nobody will say the word "exposure" to you. We're critics, not monsters.
Sixty minutes per site, on your schedule. You open the site, hit record on Loom or whatever you've got, and think out loud. No slides, no essay, no "let me just polish this". Camera optional, opinions mandatory. Think side quest, not job.
Send a link to something you made, or something you took apart intelligently. A thread, a teardown, a Figma file with rude comments in it. We care about the quality of the opinion, not the container.
We hired ourselves to critique it. It did not go well.
Six questions. One of them is a test. You'll know which.
If your one-sentence critique was any good, you'll hear from us. If it was "looks great!!", you may also hear from us, but it'll be a different conversation.